I've been calling myself a trophy wife since my 20s in the early 2000s. Back then, it was more so because I gave off model-like wife vibes and looked like one of my favorite celebrities, Kelly Rowland. In my 20s, I wanted to marry an athlete, celebrity, or engineer so that I could be his trophy wife, make him look good, and be a stay-at-home mom. When the opportunity came to be in celebrity and football/basketball culture, I realized it wasn't for me. I changed my philosophy to only dating someone at my salary or higher because I loved the lifestyle I created - purchasing my home at 25 and having the money to do the things that brought me joy and happiness.

Fast forward to 2022, when I moved back to Atlanta to finish my PhD after being gone some years obtaining my Master's degree. Boy, has the world of dating changed. With those of the likes of Kevin Samuels, Andrew Tate, Derrick Jackson, the misogyny and patriarchy, added with social media influencers pushing "Trad Wife" content, the view on dating, relationships, and marriage took a huge cultural shift. With men desiring to be chased like women and women pushing a "soft life" narrative where they take from men without contributing, jumping back into the dating world made me realize I am not like these women. I don't have the same belief system.

When I say I'm a trophy wife, it's not just the aesthetic - it's the concept that I am a partner to my spouse as he is to me. It represents the notion that I come with trophies: my Bachelor of Science in Computer Science, Master of Divinity with a certificate in Missional Innovation, and PhD in Practical Theology. I am HER.

A Scandalous Graced Trophy Wife embodies the notion that the wife is not just a beautiful trophy or prize won, not just a good and favorable thing.  It is the concept that she comes with her own set of trophies, degrees, and accomplishments. It is the understanding that she is her spouse's partner, confidant, and friend who sticks closer than a sibling. She is the Proverbs 31 woman and Proverbs strange woman. She is Sarah but also Hagar, the first one to call out to God and name God. Scandalous is a queering of traditional westernized concepts of society. Scandalous Grace says that to be a Trophy Wife is a blessing. A Trophy Wife brings honor, dignity, and love to her spouse. A Trophy Wife is successful and defines success in her own right and with her own words.

May you lean into what it means to be a Trophy Wife for you and your spouse. May you extend scandalous grace to yourself and others for all the things society has told you was wrong but that you just did not agree with. And may scandalous grace abound in all the things you do today and forevermore.

Love, Blessings, & Sunshine

-The Audacious Wife